


Is This How It's Going To Be?

by AgentCatt



Series: Locington One Shot Stuff [6]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Post Season 13, implied/referenced possible suicidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-21 05:13:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11350578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentCatt/pseuds/AgentCatt
Summary: Locus feels lost in the darkness with no one trying to find him, but the moment Wash finds him, he tries to push him away. Too stubborn, Wash refuses to give up. He will help Locus through this recovery.





	Is This How It's Going To Be?

Locus found an area that nobody travels to. It's this little roof like platform. He can only see half the base from this area. He decides to climb up to the very top. 

He looks around, now being able to see the entire base. He looks down at the drop. Not far enough to kill him. Only enough to injure him.

Locus stands very close to the edge. Enough to where one wrong move and he'll fall. He trusts himself to not.

He thinks about the Reds and Blues. How nice they are to him. He doesn't understand it. His mind quickly goes to Felix. He started out oh so kind. So nice and caring.

What if they'll turn against him? Use him for their own gain? Something has to be off about this.

The breezes catches Locus off guard ever so slightly, but he keeps his balance. It's nice standing there. Any moment he could fall off or he can step back and be perfectly fine.

Locus tries to shuffle closer to the edge, but he's pulled back from the edge so hard, he lands on his ass.

“What the fuck do you think you're doing?!” Oh, it's Agent Washington. “You could've gotten hurt!”

“I wasn't going to fall,” Locus assures him.

“You don't know that!” Wash seems concerned for Locus? Caring? Angry at him? Locus doesn't understand this man at all.

“I wasn't going to. I know what I'm doing.” Locus slowly gets up.

“You were inching closer. I saw you! You were going to jump, weren't you?”

“No. This height would not kill me. Just be more of a hindrance than anything.”

Wash paces back and forth thinking about that answer. Yeah, he's mad. Locus is waiting to be hit, but it never comes.

“I don't understand why you are mad at me. Can you please explain?” Locus asks.

“I'm mad because you had the audacity to take that risk. Because you didn't think to come to, I don't know, me before coming up here. Because you fucking scared me. I thought you were going to jump.”

“Do you-” Locus tries to think of the proper word. “Do you  _ care  _ for me?”

“Yes. Even though you're fucking stupid.” Wash finally stops pacing and looks towards Locus. Locus quickly looks down.

“None of you would understand what happened. None of you would actually care if I just left. It felt good to be on the edge.”

“Try me. I fucking dare you. I'm probably the only person you'll ever meet that will understand everything that happened. And I care so much about you or else I would've just gone back down and left you alone. You can come to me, Locus. I can help you through this.”

Locus looks up at Wash. His cheeks are red from wiping away tears that fall. “I wish I believed you.”

“Let me help you believe. Let me help make the days a little brighter than they were before.”

Locus doesn't say anything else. He just moves forward to hug Wash. Wash hugs back, squeezing tightly.

“I care about you.”

Locus holds his tongue. He wants to deny it more. How could anyone actually care about him? After all the shit he did. It doesn’t make sense.

Locus pulls away. He can’t take much contact with others. It brings back the feeling of Felix. He’d rather keep that at bay. 

“Do you wanna go inside?” Wash asks.

Who? Him? Oh. Locus shakes his head. 

“Okay. Then we’ll stay up here.”

Locus shakes his head again.

“No?” Wash is confused until he notices Locus walking towards the edge again. “No!” Wash yells as Locus jumps over the edge. He takes a deep breath before walking over to see Locus sliding down a pipe. That asshat.

When Locus’ feet hit the ground, he takes off running in the direction he knows is secluded. He’s been on this planet long enough to know it inside and out almost. He hopes Wash didn’t see which way he went. Or tried to follow him.

He gets to this field and sits down. He starts pulling up grass blades, ripping them apart as he thinks of the good times. The times Felix was gentle. The times Felix made him smile. The times that everything seemed okay. Was it actually a lie though? Do the good times excuse what happened? 

It doesn’t seem like much time has passed when Wash sits next to him, facing him. He must be annoyed. Maybe this time he’ll hit Locus for doing what he did.

“Please don’t ever pull that shit again. I’m too old for that kind of scare.”

Locus doesn’t understand. Felix said he cared and would hit him for that type of shit. But the hit never comes. He just keeps tearing up one grass blade at a time. Wash stays silent when he notices Locus won’t talk to him.

“Do-” Locus thinks about how he should ask this. “Do the good times erase the bad?” 

“No, god no. The good times happened to keep you with them. To show that there can be good times. But they weren’t real. They never are.”

“But,” Locus looks at Wash, “it seemed genuine.” 

“That’s all apart of the act. It may have seemed genuine to you, but in reality, it wasn’t.”

“Oh.” Locus looks back at the ground. 

Locus goes silent again. Wash doesn’t mind. He’s just glad that Locus is asking him  _ something  _ to help with recovery. Time passes. A big pile of torn up grass sits in front of Locus.

“I keep thinking you’ll eventually hit me,” Locus admits.

“What?” Wash’s heart sinks.

“You were mad. No one’s around. Perfect time to do so. It’s what he used to do. Or worse depending on the day.” 

“No, no. I’ll never hurt you. I won’t even touch you unless you are okay with it. You’re safe with me.” 

_ “‘Look at what you made me do. I didn’t want to hurt you, but you weren’t being a good little soldier.’  _ That’s one of the things he’d say. Then be kind right after.”

“No, no. I will never hurt you. Never. I promise.” 

“I just- I really wish I believed you.” 


End file.
